Snuffle

Have been sneezing alot lately...

Last count was a continuous 6 mega sneeze along the way to school. Sniff... Body is now on holidays although the mind is in school. 

Got to eat healthy to keep the body fit! Muesli, oat and granola! Idea idea idea!!

Thanks to friends:)

I believe everyday will only become better:) 

I love you girls!!!

Well...

Some teachers tend to stay till late in school everyday. 

And I'm slowly seeing some characteristics among these pple...

Firstly, uncommitted. They have no relationship commitments and have too much time in hand. 

Secondly, the unwanted marriage. They got into a marriage that is filled with no happiness and prefer to stay in school to seek solace and comfort outside home. 

Thirdly, i-got-husband-to-come-to-fetch-me wife. Comfortable work load, comfortable status = more time to chat with other teachers before my husband fetches me. 

Fourth, the-longer-i-stay-the-more-hardworking-I-seem pple. When you pass by these pple's desks, you may see them surfing facebook, watching shows on YouTube and having shut eye moments. 

Choices of life, to each of our own. But no matter, just dont do things against your conscious! Live a life that is peace worthy and harmonious.

Had a great time last week before coming back to the land of bitches... True music making and had alot of great conversations with many fellow music teachers. Brain draining and tiring due to the musicology and long train rides, but extremely fulfilling. 

I love music:) I love music making:) 

Insomnia

Thanks to work and endless work

I am going to survive and prove to you i can survive. 

A bigger world out there...

And I should learn to persevere for another year so that I can move on to learn from another place and hopefully be able to find closer friends and adapt better there. 

I can be better and I must not give up. I am good, but to be better, I must learn to push on and take things as they come. 

I can do it.

The irony..

Of being out of school. 

I enjoy myself more, i enjoy talking to people. I feel more accepted... I feel more at ease with myself. 

I feel that life is less judgemental to me... I'm more willing to mix around and take the initiative to talk more. 

That's the irony of life isn't it? When you are in the pile of shit, you complain non stop. When you are in a new pile of shit, you learn from your mistakes and try to make the best out of the new shit. 

You get me? 

One mountain cannot hide two tigers

And yah, there's this other tiger in my school who is erm... ok. i dunno how to describe her, but yah, she is the other tiger.

well, this tiger mentioned about a CCA's pupil's father complaining about one incident that happened early this year. and seriously, i think she is really glad to have something to keep talking bad about me.

she is hopeless.

firstly, that girl is from your class. you know no shit about what is happening to her during the cca. we made it so clear to our CCA members to be responsible for their own matters and things. it is part of learning to be independent? they are after all no longer in kindergarten.

being her "concerned" subject teacher, maybe you should spend more time inculcating her the right SEL and self responsibility issue. but from wat i see, your classroom management is also null. no wonder your pupils are so ill mannered...

for goodness sake, she is 9, NOT 6! please teach her to follow instructions? if she cannot even follow such simple instructions given to her on CCA matters, how does she even keep up in class? is there a baby sitter in class?

please use your own judgement and tell me whether to believe everything the dad say? and live in your own disillusion world?

if the girl hates the CCA or has anything against us, do you think she will still be in our CCA? if the father is unhappy with us, then why didnt he call the school?

you... bitch, only know how to blow small matters big.

i know your teaching cannot make it, that's why you wayang in school until like nobody's business.
boot licker plus two headed snake.

like seriously? bitch to the max... urgh!
why are there such BITCHES in a nurturing environment?

this school's lousy working environment is driving me out!

Am i bullied?

read a couple of online articles on workplace bullying when i was googling on quitting from the service.

i do feel horrible being in an environment where subject teachers like to joke about how you should be a music teacher so that you can leave early from school and have less markings to do. But not only me, upper primary teachers also like to joke about wanting to teach in lower primary instead so that they have less work to mark and less disciplinary issues to handle.

if you have a right mind, i believe it is easily understandable that the two allegations above are not entirely true. But stereotyped mindsets are difficult to resolve. and i think im in no position to change the negative climate in the staff room since its deep rooted and i have set my mind in leaving the service.

looking back at yesterday's meeting, i felt unjustified. i single handedly trained the pupils for the finale performance in the school's speech day last year, and i didnt see my name being mentioned. firstly, the committee volunteered my service, when after that I realised im not obliged to follow. The committee did nothing concrete to help me, i was left on my own and produced a rather good performance.

given my personality, i just swallowed this sadness and move on. im really not motivated to work in this place that gave me the worse classes when i just started out in my teaching career, i was given the hardest classes to tackle. they expected me to make exemplary changes to the school's curriculum when my classroom management is zero. pupils got into physical fights with each other in my class, it was hard to conduct normal lessons as pupils were rowdy and noisy most of the times.

the positive changes i have contributed to the pupils' behaviour are not recognised, my efforts in being members of some programs are not recognised, the witch chooses to ignore me and undermine my effort.

i may be experiencing workplace bullying, im not sure. but im tough and i will get through this.
i will end this for the well being for myself.

i have a fantastic ro, i love her even though she can be demanding at times. but the unhappy memories need to end because i care alot for my health and emotional well being.

The return of the bitchy man

And im not surprised if he is reading this blog...
because bitchy pple like to poke around into others' personal life?

the she-male came back to school during children's day celebration.
and i can still sense the cross fire between the two of us.

seriously... ? i hardly even talk to you? what's your problem?
dont worry, im a very docile person.
i mind my own problems and have no intentions of stepping in your path.
so please ermx... stop being so hostile like a bitch?

please scram away from my life, urgh!

Happy children's day

To all my darling pupils and piano students:)

Spreading my love for music to the younger generation has been a great motivation in life for me!
I hope all of you continue to enjoy music making and learning music from me:)

Enjoy your holidays!

Let's think...

If the quality of pupils' learning are not achieved... If pupils continue to behave without a care for their surrounding and hence unable to focus and pay attention in class... 

Is tt school one that you would like to send your children to? 

Even if celebrations are made fun and exciting for the pupils, in the end... And the end I mean psle, will the school take responsiblity for the pupils' future? If the pupils dun learn well and dun score well, who can help them bear the consequences of their future? 

Results may not be everything... But it's hard to deny tt in this society, qualifications play an important in your initial steps to your career. 

The least the school can do is to provide the pupils with the conducive environment and skills to be focused with learning so that they know how to pay attention to instructions and hopefully from there, be better self directed learners. 

You may have a fun children's day... But in the parents and in the child's mind, school is still a place for studies and friends. Eventually, the concrete evidence that can bring the pupils further in life is mainly the results. 

If we cannot even provide this basic need, why are we dwelling on more abstract issues? And in the first place, I don't think the pupils' values are desirable. 

Priority? A school with results or not? A school that says that results is not everything is a selfish school. An nonchalant school that doesn't care for the pupils' future well being. 

Good results allow pupils to gain more school choices. Good results help pupils establish a good foundation to further and deepen their knowledge. If the basic is not embedded well in the early years, the pupils will have to waste more effort and time unlearning and relearning. 

Results should still be a basis for all school, once curriculum is established and affirmed. Then values can be intertwined. 

You get me? 

Bf's dad...

Is watching tv noisily outside at the living room, while I just woke up from my sleep. Can sense a sore throat or flu acting up very very soon. 

Good luck to myself... 

Flu bug creeping in... NO!!! So many things to do these weeks:(

Anyway, a small update... Bf's dad hasn't been full time in action at work for about 2 weeks and everything is still abit messy. I can sense that there are still problems... But all odds will still pass in the end, isn't it? 

The witch

I'm back! With more woes about work of course! 

This is like a continuation of what kind of people you will meet in a workplace. 

And today, my whole mind has been filled about the witch. The witch casts magic... But not to everyone! 

If the witch likes you, you will be blessed with spells of luck and bliss and everything nice! 

If the witch doesn't like you, then get ready to hide away from the witch for the rest of your life and hope that she will gradually forget about you and then be spared from being destroyed by her spells. 

But if she doesn't notice you, she wont even waste any spells on you... which is good too!

So yah, who is the witch at my place? Well... Let's say she isn't very efficient cos the school results don't seem to be improving. How bad? Pupils from first class can score as low as 210 plus for PSLE... So let's not talk about those pupils from the tail end classes. 

Go soon go soon! Faster go! I can feel tt my life will be so much better with someone new! It already is after the she-male left! Yay! 

No title

Cos my brain is not working. 

I'm not sure if its bcos I haven't been eating as much or whether it is the first week of school. But I have been feeling extremely extremely exhausted tis week. 

I cancelled all piano and came home as early as I could these days... But, I'm still feeling very very very tired. Both mentally and physically. 

Hmmm... I hope the body is ok. 

Eyes closing soon... 

Zzzzz

3 days left of this short holidays...

And I have thought alot while resting on my bed and doing nothing for these two days... ok, let me comfort myself abit. I did cook for my bf a meat patty sandwich and pan fried dumplings yesterday and this morning, I was in school until 1230pm.

so yah... most of the time is spent sleeping on my bed and in desmond's term... nua-ing the whole day. It's really good to have those type of rest, just laying on bed and

Teaching piano, running errands, taking my time to get from place to place, having the luxury of looking at my surroundings while thinking about *ahem* school work. 

I hope gradually my life is one that has a good balance of stress-less and stress-ful times, filled with happiness and bliss, surrounded with sincere and fun loving friends and blessed with good health and a loving husband and family. 

Lolx... This is starting to sound so idealistic. Singapore is a materialistic place, everything requires money. No work = no money, work = stress. 

But teaching piano is not stressful all the time... It is not stressful day in day out. Only during the months of preparation for practical and theory examinations. And I enjoy music making... I love imparting and impacting the younger generation... I hope to help more children achieve a sense of success and accomplishment in their music learning:) to let music learning help them develop better soft skills and discipline not gained in normal school education. To give them more options in life just as mine did. 

Teaching piano is so meaningful:) really thankful to have gotten the good musical genes from my parents and ancestors. 

Just passed by my future home, not a very clear photo as the bus was moving. Hope I can have a small studio in my future home to teach my piano pupils and have a table filled with desserts that I make to share with the pupils while they do their theory work:) 

Gibberish talking now... Lolx!

Happy teachers day:)

In advanced...

Didn't win the award I wanted... But I'm sure I will win it next year:) 

read so many cards and many pupils telling me how I'm the best music teacher in school:) Thank you for the encouragement:) I cannot say enough thanks. 

Haha:) having a busy day tmr, performance with the kids on sat and BBQ on sun. 

Busy weekend, hopefully can get some good shut eye rest next week:) 

Happy September holidays:) 

Past memory...

Of my secondary school cca day in London! 

Suddenly recalled how I was stopped by a charity collector and kept pestering me for extra donations. 

I could remember the scene where my school mates and teachers were leaving further and further away while I was stuck with that lady. 

Bad memories... Shucks:(

On the other hand, I have a feeling tmr might be quite a impt day for me. I shall be positive:) I can do it! 

The queen beer attacks again...

Aka the old lady who is unmarried and super free and hence find solace at work and joy in gossiping and tell tale to the higher management. 

Well lady... Firstly, I am waiting to talk to my ro for close to one hour. You can leave your gossips till later in the day when people are less occupied. 

Secondly, if you are gossiping about me behind my back, next to my desk and to my ro for your pleasure. Please reflect about your actions and remind yourself why you are a spinster at this age. 

Thirdly, you are going to retire soon. Please accumulate more karma so that you don't have to pray so much for forgiveness. You commit all the crimes and then ask for forgiveness. Then why don't you just don't be so mean and critical in the first place...

Dear miss spinster queen bee, please stop making the staff room such a pessimistic environment to stay in. School is tiring enough... We seriously don't need extra nonsense from pple like you. 

... GET A LIFE!

Urgh! 

Left school after 30 mins today cos of terrible rashes... 

I really wonder wat's wrong with my body! All these things keep appearing now and then! It's... Scaring me! 

Now wondering if this will spread to my fiancé. And in scratching myself all over! Yucks! 

Bitchy...

Man? 

Ever seen one in your life? I have my share! Glad he is leaving soon! 

Tsk tsk! Man up! Suit up! Be a man!

Come to think of it... Can't blame him... Cos he has not worked outside this industry before.

Haix... Hard to find a true man in this environment... 

I had to get this off my mind...

The sight of three gossipy women hurdling together and letting yelps of sniggering remarks and giggles at the back of the staff room. 

This is probably a common sight every where. And this is the sight that makes me feel insecure. 

Are they talking about me? Are they speaking bad about me? Even if its not about me, who can they be talking about this time? I'm human, im curious. 

It's clear to me that gossips are inevitable. Sometimes I talk about others behind their backs, both negative and positive. But I think my words are less harsh and since I'm a small fry, my words make very little impact to the pple who listen to me.

But these groups of gossipy women behind the staff room are blant and fake. Even the children of one of these women are just like herself. Their words are not encouraging and whatever anyone does, they give only criticisms and no advice for problems. 

Reality is many of such critical pple survive very well in workplaces. They talk alot, they gain popularity and are well liked by others. Most probably bcos pple dun dare to offend their poisonous mouth. But... Most of them are only blessed with the gab of words. Their work capabilities are overpowered by their over critical mind. 

Shit to have so many negative pple around in the office. Instead of working for the well being of the pupils, they talk more about gossips. Tsk! Shame on you pple! Dare call yourself an educator!

Maybe tt's why this school is in such dire state!

But got slight improvement in pupils' behaviour! Especially those in my music classes! I'm so happy:) good music teaching really can improve a child's learning style!:) 

I'm good Xp

Sianx...

Thanks to my niece and nephews. That pesky kid kept calling for the hypocrite the moment they entered the house. I seriously hate that big kid. His piggy nose and his disrespectful attitude. 

Next time shall praise the second and third kids unreservedly! You will regret raging the tigeress! 

Back to sch!

For staff meetings... Well, string ensemble didn't get a new teacher this semester. 

Seriously?? We waited for four months! Dun bull me and expect me to be nice. This kind of pple pisses me off and strengthen my desire to throw the letter. 

Tsk! Such poor management! No Thanks to U! 

But on a happy note, I'm back on my bed to rest! Shall rest early... Starting to feel tired liaoz... Zzzzz

End of June holidays...

It's not the end of the holidays for the pupils yet... But it is for most teachers! Well... At least for me! 

I have been in school a few times this holidays while taking long periods of rest aka sleep this June holidays. Spent alot of time following the bf while he is working, teaching piano and slacking on the bed. 

This holidays I talked more to my parents. I read a storybook and I practised piano once. And went Malaysia a number of times with the bf for work and play. 

I will miss this relaxing mood, I think I'm going to have a hard time sleeping tonight. Its going to be difficult to kick this month long habit. But I will:) 

This semester I strive to be as calm as possible, to be direct in my instructions, to be amiable with my Ro and colleagues, to be professional in my teaching and work.

This second half of the year I strive to be more patient to my piano students, to teach with a nice tone and to help them to attain good results in their examinations. I must promise to be more motivational and encouraging! Sweets and all:) 

Limin! It's two years till the end of the bond. Smile and embrace life:) 

Senior outing...

Haix... Hate this unsettling feeling! Shit shouldn't have said so much. And the ending was crap... 

Aiyah! Limin dun think too much!

First week of holidays...

Are still packed with work. 

Shall try to get some time for sleep in between. Looking forward to a better rest on the second week:) 

I can't live the perfect life but I'm happy that its the holidays now:) 

Thankful:)

The witch

It is inevitable that we will at some point of our career meet up with unreasonable parents...

But everything is made worse with a hypocritical teacher with leech on certain small matters, smirk at others and place herself on the pedestal. 

So let's see... How great are you mrs tsr? Especially when you are an experienced teacher but only know how to dwell on one sided facts and keep harping like you are so happy that you now got some juicy news to share. 

Based on my observation, you have very lousy classroom management skills even though you are in this line for sssoo long!! All the pupils that were from your classes are horribly ill mannered with no form of respect for teachers. Shame on you and pity your young child. 

你的孩子将来会跟你一样糟糕吗??

Well, 你善怕恶的人... Shall inform my ro who has a higher position than you regarding this matter. Peace. 

Fruits to eat... To get well!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151440819524163&set=a.468813309162.252948.236037279162&type=1

Labour day eve

And it's term 2 week 6!

4 more weeks till the end of school, 5 more weeks to my long awaited two weeks holidays...

4 more weeks to the first anniversary of my bond... And 2 more years before I'm "bond free". Lame... Read it from a Facebook friend's post. Haha.

Cancelled today's piano and nua-ing on my bed. Reading blogs and looking at clothes.

It's really good to relax the mind after a whole day of work. Sometimes, I ask myself whether it's ok for me to leave school early while other teachers slog hard in school and mark their pupils' work furiously. And i ask myself... Why do I feel insecure when I see myself leave school early while others stay until horribly late?

Initially, I do feel apprehensive about leaving early. But slowly I realised... Whenever I stay back in school, people ask me why do I stay back so late when I have no work to mark? I do have some things to mark like music worksheets and science remedial worksheets. But not as much as normal teachers and hence, I only stay back in school once in a while to get work done. Plus i normally do up my lesson plans at home after I'm rested and revitalised. Interesting music lesson plans and ideas don't come by easily for me, I take time to search and gather resources to create more engaging music lesson. i need... Ling gan

But really, stay ye bu shi, bu stay ye bu shi. *I wrote a philosophical sentence in chapalang english* so I chose the lesser of both evil, the choice that makes me less tired and help me to remain sane.

Normal ems teachers have a calmer environment to carry out their teaching... But music classes are usually more noisy due to the activities they are engaged in. And a lot of my energy are depleted in being animated in class to get pupils to be spontaneous and mainly because l'm doing what I love the most.

And that's why, even though I have many things to do, I do it with enthusiasm and interest... Because I love music and I hope to spread this love of music making to more people and especially our future generation. I may sound politically correct here... But this is the reason why I'm still in this profession and why I got into this profession initially.

I'm really blessed with good musicianship skills. I'm really happy to be recognised as a good music teacher:) but I'm not sure if I can like this school and be able to cope with the emotional worries I have above.

Being a music teacher is both lovely and lonely at the same time, the whole school knows you but you have nobody to share your ideas with.

Are we really on a different tier? Can I survive being alone in such a big environment and be able to cope emotionally? Will the emotional baggage tear me apart before I could survive the end of my three years bond?

Doubts and insecurities

Cough cough...

Down w bad cough! Really terrible and sometimes, the chest will ache and the tightness will make me woozy and tired.

Zzz

School has been... Well, all I can say is to be grateful for everyday, to look forward and complete whatever is given to me on time.

Life is too short to worry to much.

Am I saying the obvious? Hahaha, cough.

Today...

I twist and cross my fingers and toes that I'm doing the right thing.

Please give me strength to pull through all obstacles and challenges.

Please path a smooth and enlightening route for me.

Please fill my life with great and benevolent people.

Now...

Feeling unnecessarily stressed...

My heart is pumping so fast, my mind is whirling. When these kind of things happen, I know very well I'm not suited for this job. I'm not comfortable and I don't think it is good for my health if I stay long.

I rather pay the bond, eat less and enjoy a more calming life.

I want to quit now.

And it's only the start of term 2? O my goodness

End of march holidays...

:)

It's the last day of my march holidays...

And this sounds technically wrong cos this is not my holidays but the pupils'... Haha:) but I'm thankful for the short 5 days break from the 10 weeks marathon which leave my breathless till the last moment on the Tuesday that just passed...

I went to Malaysia and came back a happy girl. One shorts and one lace tank top. One box of durian puff and 5 baked bbq buns. Plus great memories w fiancé.

Today is ending w a birthday celebration and problematic piles which make my face look uncomfortable constantly. Piles do go away fast! I'm sorry I spend so much time on the toilet bowl on the friday night that passed. I'm do tired from all the blood loss:(

Tmr is packed w lesson plans, simplified lesson plans, cca stuffs and bt presentation. Well, it never ends:) but I can do it!

And this feeling...

If u have a teacher who is so good looking and charming and talented in many ways, how do u stop yourself from looking at him too much and stop being attracted by him too much before everything is too late?

I don't have such a good looking teacher, but I have a feeling that I will be meeting someone special very soon.

Are you coming by really soon?

Going home...

To fill up my tummy before I get down to completing my work.

Aja limin fighter! One more day to the start of my short holidays! I can do it!

Kuishinbo afternoon delight!

Was walking about jp for lunch and we saw a line forming outside kuishinbo with no one inside the restaurant.

My bf decided to join the queue after seeing that we are less than 5 mins away from the afternoon delights and i was quickly convinced by him to try the buffet cos we were ushered in before I could find out more about the buffet online!

The food was mainly the usual kuishinbo buffet, minus the paper hot pot, fresh seafood (sashimi and snow crab).

The fried varieties include small shrimps and takopochi balls! I ate twi bowls if chawanmushi! They were really smooth and I love the small ginko nut at the bottom of the bowl! Hahah:p

Cooked food include fried rice and pan fried dory. There were a few varieties of sushis and cold noodles as well as a small selection of bread and cheeses. The desserts were ok, I regretted not eating more chocolate fondue w marshmallow! Haha:p

The only food that missed the mark is probably the vegetable curry from the cooked section. It was not savoury and almost tasteless.

Drinks include soft drink and hot beverages. I had two twinnings, too bad they did not have earl grey:(

Worth it? Hmm... The food varieties are limited so it's hard to justify the worth of $20 per person after gst and service charge. It is a great one time experience nonetheless:)

Erm...

Dont make it sound like its my freaking fault for ur inefficiency?

If u need the key, why not ask before the class instead of talking to me in this rude manner? Just a meanie... Seriously...

Urgh, such crap pple jus spoil my day

And dear colleague...

Please don't put on such a defensive front. Im just trying to help, not snatching ur popularity votes from the pupils. I teach for the well being my pupils.

If u are truly passionate about music, u should have applied for music in nie. A musician will always be a musician, one does not need to constantly flaunt and mention about on one's ability. Unless... You lack the confidence?

I know u like to win people's favour and love to talk cute and sweet. But sorry, I have seen people like you and my stomach cringes when I see your kind of people.

U have already lost a musician's inert and that is to share the joy of music making. Be more broad hearted? Maybe that will make u a better musician and teacher?

Please stop all these...

Sometimes I wonder... Whether my desire to teach surpasses my patience in handling a difficult child.

Although I'm not eloquent, I see myself as a very patient teacher. But pupils, especially those I taught today, are exceptionally badly behaved. And yes, the word is exceptionally.

One particular boy calls me names and today he called me a maid when I offered to help him to throw his spoilt stationary.

Full stop. Any complains from the unreasonable parents or any crap that triggers my bad emotions. I'm tendering.

A job is a job... It shouldn't be hurting my health and my emotional well being.

Bond or no bond, my health is my top priority.

Tummy ache...

The stomach is still aching after so long... But nothing is coming out when I'm in the toilet!!!

Urgh! How to sleep tonight???

Tummy achezzz

Sticky?

I read a blog of an old jc school mate and she mentioned about meeting her fiancé every night and that it's a gauge whether they can live and face each other for the rest of their lives.

I can't help but to agree with her. I think it's not that i can't wait to stay with my fiancé for the rest of my life, but rather whether the both of us can enjoy each other's companionship for a longer period of time. A marriage to me is a lifetime, if I dont start getting used to his continuous presence and only to realise both of our lifestyle are not suitable for each other after the wedding, wont it be too late?

Wat about peers who may pressure me to be more "independent" and "have my own life" instead of meeting the bf? They have a point but I think my previous point is more legit. And to these peers... I just want to say... It's my life and im going to live the way I deem correct.

Those two who said the above sentence to me are singles with no boyfriends. I believe it's hard for them to imagine themselves in a situation similar to mine, but it really irked me when they started retorting and one of them even told me off by saying she had been attached for 6 years previously.

Well, in my heart I wanted to rebuke... Maybe that's why ur relationship did not work out in the end and u are still single now. But I was too chicken to say out.

Sigh, such unpleasant people I have at my workplace.

If anything happens...

I will quit! All these r getting too tiring...

Future?

Booming influx of more people, causing congestion and uptightness everywhere.

People start to be selfish, to ensure their survivability. Self centered behaviours will become a norm.

Gradually, we start detaching ourselves from people and surroundings to find privacy and space we can call our own. We maintain distance to protect ourselves from ruthless and selfish people.

Everyone take each day in their own stride; the heart is burdened with so much pressure and stress that empathy and sympathetic thoughts are ignored.

We live each day for ourselves, putting a fake front of people to survive, but swallowing otherwise thoughts in fear of being out casted.

At home, we cry to release the bottled up thoughts. We start to forget how to express freely. We keep to ourselves so much, that it is difficult to translate inner thoughts into verbal words.

We may be always surrounded by people, but the sense of loneliness is still engulfing the soul. So why? Why are we so alone in this populous place?

The body is an empty carcass, with a dreaded soul. The nation withers into nothing, into a place of uninspired and uninitiated people.

Why has the happy days gone to?

Passion?

Maybe... But it's clearer to me that i just want to try my best in conducting every lesson which engage and are enjoyable to my pupils.

I can't engage everyone... But I will try

I can't make everyone like music... But I hope at least make music classes a lesson pupils do not feel bored in.

It's a tough job

The mind is starting to feel tired and stressed out all over again. Please give me the energy to survive this week and the lesson observation next Monday.

I will conduct an impressive engaging class that the vice principal likes. The pupils will be cooperative and be able to sing and follow instructions well and maintain their behaviours throughout the lesson.

Please let me have the strength to teach my piano kids at my best before their big piano exams next week:)

Best lesson observation limin! You can do it!

It's starting to feel a lot like...

Happy Chinese new year!!

It is so packed at sheng shiong and ntuc!! Hahaha:) everyone's buying all the food and goodies! Seeing the bustle and hustle makes me feel better, despite the lost of my voice:(

And I'm super happy I cut my hair! Looks so much neater! Thumbs up limin! Need to find time to trim the eyebrow and buy piano books and book piano studio:( last minute rrruuuusssshhhhhh!!!!

Happy Chinese new year! Stay healthy and happy!:)

Cough my lungs out...

Is not as bad as having a blocked nose which prevents you from smelling food and tasting how sumptuous they are...

My nose works in a rather funny manner, only one side will be blocked at a time. And each side will take turn to be blocked... Eh huh... Not funny nose...

I want my nose back!!!

Tuas...

Accompanied the bf to collect goods from their Tuas branch...

Staying alone in the truck w the doors locked but I'm still afraid the Indian workers might barge in... So I'm carrying a pen knife too.

There are more than hundreds of them staying in the cramp factories space... As much as I pity them, I can't help but to be reminded of the raping incident in India that shocked the world.

One cannot be too careful at these places, especially at night... Glad to be able to find a penknife and hold it in my hands.

Can't wait to get out of here...

Sick again...

Nothing better to update... Lolx...

Just woke up from the sleep after taking the cough medicine. Still coughing hard and the nose is still blocked:(

And the voice is still lost somewhere out there:( Haix, what to do!! Cant talk, can't speak loudly...

Starting to fear for my work review... I want to return back to school, but the pupils might climb on top of me if I can't talk aloud. Dilemma...

K, got to go back to sleep. The head is dizzy again, limin be strong!!! Get healthy soon!!

A back dated post...

It doesn't feel like week 4...

It doesn't feel like it's coming to the end I January.

After hustling in and out of classes and school everyday, i have lost the sense of time and days.

I'm trapped in a time zone of my own, not in tuned with the outside world. Everyday is filled and am busy to the max. I can hardly remember the last time I sat down with my friends to gossip and talk about anything else but work.

As much as I like to teach music, do I want to sustain this kind of lifestyle for a long time? And w the emotional baggage of the well beings of the countless of pupils constantly at the back of every teacher's mind.

This job is not for the weak hearted.

Clothes woe...

This is real.

I have been looking out for cny clothes nowadays and I'm having a hard time finding something suitable. Cny is coming in two weeks' time and I haven't gotten any new clothes yet.

Shucks.

I want a high collared but not overly hugging Chinese cheong sam top but I can't seem to find a colour which doesn't spell auntie.

Full length cheongsam is not suitable for school and those with flared bottoms are too poofy for me:(

Why my figure not like models?? Boo!

Ah Choo!

Cold cold saturday! Bbbrrrrrr! It has been raining alot nowadays, and the whole day today since this morning. Glad tt im in knit wear now. If not, the flu is bound to worsen:(

Like as if the nose wasnt bad enough... Now the throat decides to kill me and every time I cough the phlegm out, there will be traces of blood in it.

And now, I terribly need to blow my nose but I have no tissue around me!!! My sky arh!! Y my body so weak??

Ah Choo!

Like as if the nose wasnt bad enough... Now the throat decides to kill me and every time I cough the phlegm out, there will traces of blood in it.

And now, I terribly need to blow my nose but I have no tissue around me!!! My sky arh!! Y my body so weak??

Term 1 week 2

Just got through the first day of week 2.

Not a good start, I'm still feeling sick... My throbbing head is making me sensitive to sound. My pupils are giving me headache w their constant chattering. My classes were not as well managed as last week due to the headache.

I'm not enjoying myself. And I dun like this. But do I want to lower my expectations and don't push myself too hard?

Maybe I should?

I'm confident of my lesson flow, accompanying resources and musical knowledge. But I'm not sure if I want to do this long term, with the constant headache and heartache from the students.

I know I am good, but lower my expectations? I'm not sure...

I'm not close to many teachers in school either... Sucks to be lonely in school. But this is an adult world, this is a job. Friendship or not, the work still goes on. But isnt this job built from my passion? Then why these pessimistic thoughts? Hope I can recover from all these by tmr. It is still a long week ahead.

Unproductive weekend

Didn't manage to do much, only taught 4 students and nothing else.

The body is not feeling well, having menses, bad flu and headache. I'm feeling breathless and dizzy as well.

Sigh, the body is feeling so weak... But I dowan to take mc on the second week of school. I want to get well and not feel so terrible.

Suddenly I just feel like writing about...

Snsd's Tiffany.

I'm nt sure y... But a few of her live singing in the recent new songs were disappointing? Her dance moves were out of sync w the others and she was looking sloopish and auntie-ish.

I dun notice her much but the current choreography places her in the middle most of the time and I can't help but to notice how out of place she looks.

Everyone looked so young and bubbly... which fits the genre of the song. And she looks like the odd one out.

Tiffany was ok in the past... But now, I wonder if it's better to shift her back to where she was at the back and bring forward Jessica who has a younger looking appearance? Plus Jessica's voice is more consistent and brighter than Tiffany... Which might be better to maintain the youthful image of snsd.

Nonetheless, the new songs especially "I've got a boy" is fantastic!! Shall write more about it another time!

Ciaoz!

Strange day

Said quite a number of wrong things today... Plus I have been constipating for 4 days... Super sad now... Sure just pray for a better tmr... Big day at school... Haix...

Happy 2013

Happy 2013:)

The bf proposed to me on the 1st of 2013 at the place where we celebrated my first birthday. There was a jam on the only road up mount fabar and I wasn't wearing my best so we stayed in the car.

the bf asked me some weird questions the day before and my mind started guessing whether he is proposing:) Although I had seen it coming, I didn't expect myself to still tear from his proposal. Typing this now still wells up my eyes...

My tears just fell uncontrollably when he told me he hopes to spend a life time with me, and something. I can't remember the exact words, but i felt very touched:) maybe I will ask him again:p

The mind and emotions seem to be quite settled after yesterday but I still need some time to digest and get use to this new status.

Thank you tatty president:) I'm really blessed to be loved by you:) I hope to spend my life with you creating more fantastic memories and experience together:) I <3 u:)